To my Facebook friends. I am making an unusual request. I have posted a discussion on one f my blogs (link below) and I am asking if you would be so kind as to read it and offer a critique of it. Was anybody out of line during the discussion?
I know it is hard to follow due to the replies following replies and then new comments made out of sequence. I also feel, since it is a personal matter, I needed to change the names of the famiy members involved and coded them as below.
The principals are: U = My sister, V = my ex-wife’s husband, W= my brother, X= my biological son, Y=his wife and Z=my granddaughter for whom the congratulations were in order. A couple of other names are mentioned but I have removed the name and (… placed a descriptor…) like this.
If you need more information to, please feel free to comment on the page (it just requires that you have a login to a Google account somewhere to be verified. Alternatively, you can email with questions or comments at LEMBlogs@suddenlink.net. I now I am asking a lot, but I would appreciate your honest opinion as to the right or wrong of any of the characters involved.
It started simply as this:
W September 1 at 3:09pm
My family is blessed with the spirit of our Mother Earth and once more we have the blessing of her blessings as my beautiful niece Z, daughter of my nephew, X and his beautiful bride Y; is with child.
Blessings of Oneness to Z and (…her husband…).
Larry Marshall Please send my congratulations to the happy couple. Wow, I’ll be a great grandfather. Amazing. · September 1 at 7:59pm
Y How? September 1 at 9:13pm
Y Thanks for your nice words Roy! September 1 at 9:14pm
Larry Marshall Biology 101, Y. X IS my son, Z is my granddaughter, therefore, her child becomes my great grandchild. Your splenetic attitude toward me does not permute the facts. 23 hrs
X Son is a bit strong in this situation. I will concede to offspring. · 23 hrs
Y Well I can’t stop you from claiming titles that you don’t deserve but the reality is… V has earned the title of father, grandfather and great-grandfather. Our family will continue to think of you as the sperm donor. 22 hrs
Z There is far more entailed in being a father than just donating your dna. Three generations later, and it still hasn’t registered? I know who my grandfathers are, and larry, you are not one of them. 23 hrs
Larry Marshall Z, I do not know, nor consider it important at this time, what you understand of the relationship between your grandmother and me. I can discern, from the attitudes and written statements and lack of responses to innumerable letters and emails (all of which we still have copies of), that there is a high probability that you are unaware of many factors that occurred, let alone my particular opinion of the events that you may be aware of.
Jason was taken from me by your grandmother and I had to give up a supervisory position to search for them in Dallas and then in Long Beach where I was thrown in jail for disturbing the peace at your great grandmothers house just a couple of blocks from the beach. Technology was no where what it is today and tracing somebody usually required a private detective.
When your grandmother contacted my sister U to see if I had ever divorced her (not until I was in a serious relationship with another woman-for whatever hope that might have meant) and X and I were reintroduced, it was an awkward situation as can be expected. My wife at the time was somewhat overbearing, so I tried to have X spend more time with my sister, mom and (…brother…) and they had been warned by me to try to be as forgiving of your grandmothers many transgressions as I had been.
We maintained a strained relationship, and my new wife and I attended your first birthday party. I continued to try to maintain a relationship but X seldom returned any calls. Both your mother and X ‘s mother asked me to call him at times because he was “troubled” and I did. I also constantly congratulated him for his success and also implied that I was having financial difficulties and had to cut out the long distance phone charges and hinted that since he was making more money to call me – which he chose not to. Nor did he respond to any of the emails I sent, but since he was not home all the time, traveling for HP, I sometimes wonder if Y showed him the emails or deleted them. Not having any corroborating information I have never mentioned it- until now. As I said, it has only been a thought. And then eventually your mother contacted me and said I could take a position as another uncle because I had been replaced as a grandfather. That was not satisfactory to me, so I decided to withdraw instead of being the one to have X explain to his children why he had lied to them about his dad.
Then I asked to be your friend on facebook and contributed comments occasionally and then you set me straight some time ago about something (I’ll have to go and look it up) and I stepped back and then just followed you as you moved around and blossomed in to a delightful woman. . You responded to a posting I made and then I responded to you and it disagreed with your values and you shut me out which appears to be a common trait on your grandmothers side of the family.
Despite everything, I do congratulate you on your pregnancy and both (…my wife …) and I send our best wishes to you and your husband and child for a lovely life. Yesterday at 12:26pm
Y Poor Larry! As usual it’s someone else’s fault that your life turned out the way it did. (…My wife…) stole your son, (… her mother …) threw you in jail, (…Second wife…) was overbearing, I probably intercepted your communications with X…. You’ve always been a weak man and if you’d truly wanted to be a part of any of the people you helped create then you wouldn’t have given up so easy. Again, if you truly wanted to be a part of my kids lives you would have accepted any role to be included. They always understood that V is not their biological grandfather. We never would have lied to them, but the honor of the title still belongs to V not you. Maybe you could have built a relationship with X and eventually been looked at as a father but when things are difficult you give up. X had no interest in building a relationship with a self absorbed victim! Food for thought…. When was the last time you didn’t blame someone else for the bad events in your life? When was the last time that someone expressed anything that you didn’t somehow make it about you?
I pity that you lost the opportunity to be a part of the life of the wonderful man (… my exwife…) & V raised and the 3 amazing kids X & I have raised. Sadly it’s a lot to late! 14 hrs
Larry Y after the events shown here, I wonder which individual failed to communicate with which individual. I have copies of all the emails I sent, the letters sent, the letters sent and returned, and copies of the long distance phone calls from both Phoenix and Texas for which I have to this day not received any recognition of. But then again, according to you, I’m the one who failed to communicate. And then one day I got a nasty letter from Jason and one can say that the relationship certainly went downhill from there and was not retrievable. But, I understand, it is all my fault- nobody else is culpable.
Larry Marshall Rather than bog down W‘s Facebook page if you wish to continue your acrimonious discussion feel free to contact me at LEMblogs@suddenlink.net
W I’m not sure what to say about all of this. I know that I am grateful for my son and the relationship that we have enjoyed and worked on to build into what it is today. I don’t know, perhaps it isn’t all luck. I treasure all the times that we shared and respect (… my ex wife….) and V for the task of raising a child as well as being a part of their grandkid’s lives as well. And to get back to the whole start of this post, I don’t have much,(and that’s a choice in my life right now) but I have a jar on the desk that will take money every week to buy a trip to Oregon to see this little miracle 13 hrs
W Sigh, I didn’t expect or want such controversy, I only want the best for Z and (… her husband …) . As I hope all do. 23 hrs
Y Sorry W! Your intentions were in a beautiful place! 22 hrs
W Maybe because it isn’t about me 22 hrs
X Ding ding ding we have a winner 22 hrs
X That is why you are called uncle. 23 hrs
Larry Marshall I do not believe you have any foundation to dismiss the term son, because you are mine. You can, based upon your contorted logic describe yourself as my offspring. The reasoning is yours and yours alone.
It is interesting, that I can remember when (…my daughter by second marriage …) was conceived. Her mother and I had ridden up to Payson on my motorcycle and I threw a link in the chain. We camped on the side of the road next to a small pond and in a field of purple heather flowers. So her name of (… appropriate for the scenery…) was appropriate.
I can remember when your mother’s and my first child was conceived. A mutual friend of mine and your mothers brother, (… high school buddy…) brought your mother over on the back of his Triumph 250 motorcycle. I was living in an apartment off University Avenue and the north/south railroad track. Your mother and I spent all day engaging in coitus on that hot summer day and she ended up pregnant.
However, I cannot for the life of me remember when you were conceived. It was obviously sometime after we were married, so if I take out all of the emotion and personal feelings in the same manner that you, then I could say that you are nothing more than the byproduct of our copulating activity. 20 hrs
Z Larry, i deleted you because i have no time for your convoluted comments. I have no respect for you, nor desire to take my precious time reading your thoughts on anything in this world. Please quit. The time to try has gone and past. I have my family and i wish to disregard your existence. I remember one card i received and not knowing who you were and i was at least six. Thanks and thanks for your wishes. Please find someone else to share your thoughts and opinions with. You are not my grandfather 19 hrs
Larry Marshall And you will always know that the feeling is NOT mutual and I was denied the opportunity to be your grandfather due to circumstances. All I have done was to respond to the good news from W and then was the recipient of antagonistic responses which I have defended myself against.
Z I’m sorry Uncle W. You never quite know how a facebook post can go or which wounds it’ll rub, even with the best intentions. I appreciate your thoughts and kind words. Miss you 18 hrs
W I miss you as well. Hard to believe and saf that a message of womderment took such a turn.
Y Roy, We’ll have to have a party in SoCal after the baby is born. Expect an invitation! 13 hrs
W Ooooooooooooh cheaper. and fun 13 hrs
Y Right? 13 hrs
W Sheesh, more replies, more….. stuff. I looked over your reply Jocelyn and that’s a question mark after the Right. Now I’m at a loss. Is the juxtaposition of the integrity of the comment within the parameters of reality of the excesses of youth’s indulgences or an expression of ingrattitude mixed with unsavory relational dramatic questioning of the rising of the moon on any particular Thursday as opposed to Tuesdays. Some how I indeed feel like I’ve been loading Mercury with a pitchfork. Hope to see all of you after the blessed event