FB-God could have banned slavery instead of shellfish

LEM comments:

Be wary of the vulgarity that goes along with so many of the following comments.  It is how some people express themselves best.  Notice how they seem to want to continue to entertain themselves and ignore posts from others that do not share their view.


We Fucking Love Atheism

September 24 at 2:00am ·

Check out our secular apparel shop!
http://wflatheism.spreadshirt.com/

banned_shellfish

Aaron  I was going to say, you just can’t make this shit up, but someone actually did?!?????  September 24 at 2:03am

Shawn Well played.  September 24 at 6:47am

Miguel Yes , the affair of Marie made it   September 24 at 7:41am

Tyler  Say that ten times fast  September 24 at 2:03am

Brian lol for some reason it was extra funny today lol  September 24 at 2:04am

Carlos  And wearing mixed fabrics, because you know… Fabrics  September 24 at 2:08am

Bill  it was the short straw  September 24 at 2:11am

Eyrum  Perhaps Yahweh is a crustacean and all shellfish were made in his image?  September 24 at 2:14am

Шеф  Banned shellfish? I had to look it up. Glad i’m an atheïst because i love shellfish. http://biblehub.com/leviticus/11-12.htm   September 24 at 2:15am

Ross  i know its crazy right and i luv crab and scampy im glad ima theist as well Leviticus 11:12 (KJVB) “Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.”  September 24 at 3:21am

Robert Selfish dick   September 24 at 2:23am

Bill You mean “shellfish dick”? Get it? GET IT??   September 24 at 8:22am

Robert   Ha ha. Punny man    September 24 at 9:15am

Sean   I fucking love this page!!! Lol proud atheist here   September 24 at 2:24am

Biju  By the way does god have white beard right from the beginning of time? Does he age? September 24 at 2:46am

Eric White is seen as pure. Pretty much everything “holy” is white or gold.  September 24 at 7:50am

Matt  I think the point of the question was that “god” is portrayed as an ancient, when the bible claims that he is infinite and immortal. He created time, and therefore exists above and outside of time, so (not that god’s decision have ever made much sense, but….) why would he choose to look like a scraggly old man?  September 24 at 9:50am

Michael  He would have banned slavery, BUT his lawn needed work because he was up for best garden award  September 24 at 3:14am

Wanda He was just mad that the shellfish survived when he flooded the earth and ‘drowned’ every living thing  September 24 at 3:26am

Tony He didn’t choose shit… He wasn’t there!  September 24 at 3:38am

Tom How very ‘shellfish’ of him!
(I’ll get my coat….)  September 24 at 4:21am

John   Quickly…September 24 at 4:24am

Lewis Ha ha ha   September 24 at 10:42am

Misty  Pretty sure Jeff agrees that shellfish is evil.   September 24 at 4:33am

Nazzareno  El guaco! Then, went and made his son a fisheman?   September 24 at 4:39am

Justin His son was a carpenter   September 24 at 10:03am

Brannon And a short list of things he chose to ban instead of slavery… eating fat, torn clothes, homosexuality, mixing fabrics, trimming your beard, getting tattoos, not standing in the presence of the elderly, cursing your father or mother( punishable by eath), selling or buying land permanently (no owning a house), braiding your hair, wearing gold, eating pork (THIS. INCLUDES. BACON), gossip, eating too much, women speaking in church, touching pork products (bye bye football), blending fabric, working on the sabbath (punishable by death), being uncircumcised, divorce, AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE… no alcohol is to be consumed in church.

So for all of you religious people who site bible passages to promote your own world views, don’t forget to adhere to all of these nonsensical rules. You don’t get to cherry pick only the parts you like.  September 24 at 4:46am

Ross It’s not alcohol. It’s the ACTUAL BLOOD OF JESUS. Bone marrow overdrive.  September 24 at 5:42am

Brannon right, I forgot that the zombie Jew could make wine turn into actual blood right before being consumed. But isn’t there something in the Bible about not consuming blood?

“Only be sure that thou eat not the blood: for the blood is the life; and thou mayest not eat the life with the flesh”

– Deuteronomy 12:23

Do any of these fucks actually read the Bible or am I the only one? (For educational purposes only)   September 24 at 6:00am

read_this_stuff

September 24 at 6:07am

Joshua But shellfish is so tasty!  September 24 at 5:57am

Catt He probly got sick at a calm bake and well, you know God.  eptember 24 at 6:30am

Jannick   And pork and the badger.  September 24 at 6:48am

Chris

taking_out_of_contex

September 24 at 6:58am

Richard Yes! I make this argument all the time!. Great name by the by! Christian will agree Like September 24 at 8:05am

Larry Marshall Exodus 21. Slavery was not condoned by Moses, rather it was severely regulated and restricted. This is a restriction which seems harsh to us in our world. Of course, we kill innocent unborn babies and justify it for convenience sake

Liam   Lol! I definitely think people used God as a way to explain things science could not yet back then. It makes sense they’d ban shellfish, back then they wouldn’t of understood medicine like today and alot of people have serious shellfish allergies. Religion is the most successful con of all time. But what a genius way to get people to listen to everything you say.  September 24 at 7:03am

Lapalme That’s a little selfish :p  September 24 at 7:22am

Anthony Lived in a desert. Going to choose to ban what he doesn’t have!! Any good fiction writer will tell you that..  September 24 at 7:28am

Richard  The Christian philosophy: if it’s feels or tastes good, stop! September 24 at 8:03am

Bill I guess it’s all about priorities.   September 24 at 8:24am

Damon lol, maybe he meant clam jam?  September 24 at 9:02am

Tim GIVE US BARABUS

GIVE US SHRIMP SCAMPI September 24 at 9:08am

Bob  And BACON! September 24 at 9:24am

Anthony Is it me or does that god look like Robbin Williams….September 24 at 9:30am

Mactire Can not be unseen. God is Robbin Williams  September 24 at 11:55am

Carla I noticed ALMOST everyone skipped over the slavery and decided to comment on the shellfish. Still to this day white people do not like to discuss slavery. September 24 at 9:44am

Mactire Slaves according to the bible can be white black or brown racial slavery is an almost exclusively American thing. Racial slavery is not the same thing as biblical slavery. Both are wrong but you’re argument that it’s white people ignoring black slavery when it was white people being enslaved in the bible is every bit as racist as the racism you’re complaining about. That’s called hypocrisy. September 24 at 11:53am

Aaron Yes, America was the only country to enslave black people. Minus that whole “British Empire subjugating multiple non-white countries for hundreds of years” part.  September 24 at 3:45pm

Pamela Have to agree with Carla, white people HATE to discuss slavery and racism. Even in simple discussions, wherein an audience is prompted, “Raise your hand if you’re okay being treated the way blacks are treated in this country,” no matter if the audienceracism or not. . .no one will raise their hand.

Because everyone knows that we still perpetuate racism. They just don’t want to admit it and burst their own personal bubbles.

But, at the same time, this post isn’t about slavery, per se — it’s about “god’s” choices on what to ban. The contradictions and immorality inherent in the Bible. It’s about how the only things that are “bad” are the things that could directly harm straight white men, and only straight white men. Everything else is perfectly fine.  September 24 at 4:10pm

Corey And African Americans failed to give one “Thank you” for the 650,000 white folks who died for their freedom.   September 24 at 7:27pm

Claudius  That’s because Taco Bell wasn’t invented yet. September 24 at 10:07am

Cloressa  Whoever wrote that in must have been allergic to shellfish and didn’t want others to enjoy what he couldn’t.  September 24 at 10:28am

Pamela IDK, according to my mother (a religious person, sadly), it’s because shellfish are bottom-feeders. They eat diseased flesh, so they shouldn’t be eaten.

Which isn’t so bad, I guess. There could be worse things in the Bible.

And there are.

A lot of them.  September 24 at 4:12pm

Mark

oh_your_god

September 24 at 10:33am

Dean LMFGAO… laughing my fucking goddamn ass off… oh religion, you’re hilarious . And awful. Mostly awful. But still hilarious.  September 24 at 11:28am

Jeff Dude quit pushing your “secular apparel”. I’m about to unlike the page because of that plug shit. September 24 at 11:30am

Jesse S0 unlike it and get on with your life. T-shirts are an easy way for them to generate revenue for time spent gathering and organizing content that you don’t pay them to see. It’s a simple html link thrown in with the post, get over it. September 24 at 1:35pm

Chad Yeah, you should just stop complaining and unlike the page.  September 24 at 7:55pm

Cary

im_leaving

Yesterday at 8:26am

Mactire  Coulda forbid eating human babies or shellfish… choose shellfish. No seriously they eat a human baby in the bible and god doesn’t get mad that thay ate a baby no he gets mad because they didn’t eat a second human baby. That mythology is fucked up  September 24 at 11:50am

Larry Marshall They were in the middle of a siege and were suffering from severe famine. SOME not all killed their babies and ate the for food. I know of at least 3 modern instances f humans killing each other because they needed the bodies for food.  September 24 at 7:21pm

Mactire And so the OBVIOUS choice was ignore the shellfish don’t eat the horse we surely can’t eat any adults dogs off the menu just skip right to human babies  September 24 at 7:31pm

Nick god’s plan. Step one, create arthropods with shell. Step two create some humans with allergies too said arthropods. Step three. Ban eating of arthropods to look like good guy so people don’t notice allowing a bunch of awful shit.  September 24 at 12:36pm

Charleen  Mmm, lobster.  September 24 at 12:49pm

Bryan That’s very shellfish of him.  September 24 at 2:39pm

Malcolm  How shellfish of him.  September 24 at 3:04pm

Gregory Religious food law’s have nothing to do with religion but more with the place where the religion started. In a really hot country po  September 24 at 4:27pm

Scott that is just stupid.  September 24 at 5:01pm

Jeff  With out understanding come religion. Red tide can be fatal. If you don’t know what is going on, God is punishing you. Pigs are smart. Smart enough to know you are going to kill them. Adrenaline floods through the flesh of the animal. Foreign adrenaline can have very strange effects on the mind and body. Not knowing this, must be demons or spirits. So animals with cloven hoof must be unclean.  September 24 at 5:35pm

Larry Marshall They wallowed in their own feces so were difficult to maintain a sanitary butchering.  September 24 at 7:23pm

Mary Nicely summed up   September 24 at 6:01pm

Jack Sounds like a very shellfish god  September 24 at 6:11pm

Richard    That’s just him being mysterious again.   September 24 at 6:18pm

Jeremy Classic. September 24 at 6:34pm

Melissa  Good, that’s more prawns for me!  September 24 at 6:43pm

Larry Marshall Typical from the Talking MemeHeads. Shellfish because they are scavengers for food on the bottom of the bays and rivers. Sanitation not the best during those days. Slavery is a product of man’s sinful nature and freewill. That was the old covenant, Jesus brought about a new covenant. Destroys the concept of the meme- easy to do  September 24 at 7:11pm

Anthony That first one there, that contradicts your “that was the Old Testament” argument. And there are laws written in the bible that talk about how to punish your slaves if they get out of hand. So no you didn’t destroy anything here.

matthew-5-17-19

September 24 at 7:39pm

Chad So care to explain the other absurd things that were banned but not slavery?

September 24 at 7:56pm

Chris    Chad my fave….http://biblehub.com/ezekiel/23-20.htm

Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and…

biblehub.com    September 24 at 8:12pm

Chad   Chris to be fair if God was real he would have most definitely been into some freaky stuff. Incest, beastiality, cuckolding, just off the top.   September 24 at 8:15pm

Chris    Chad   he would treat us like sex trash and make us learn what real grease is

September 24 at 8:17pm

Chad  Sex Trash is my new Christian no-wave noise band.  September 24 at 8:18pm

Chris I still smell like your cologne….is now one of the gayest things ive ever said

September 24 at 8:20pm

Larry Marshall Chris Bossert you’ve never know anybody who is well hung?  September 24 at 9:30pm

Larry Marshall Chad Not unless you are will to set aside preconceived notions, personal prejudice and willing to honestly look at things from a different perspective before passing your naturalism judgment.   September 24 at 9:32pm

Larry Marshall Anthony   I’m not sure what you mean by “That first one here” but if it is Matthew 5:17 that is interrupted as Jesus defended His view of the Old Testament here because religious leaders of Israel attacked His teaching. He rejected the doctrines of the scribes and Pharisees and this angered them. His teaching was so radically different from theirs that they thought He was a heretic.  4 mins

Larry Marshall Chris If it isn’t because of any built in perversion on your part it is typically understood this way: For she doted upon their paramours,…. Or “concubines”F26; the neighboring nations and allies of the Egyptians, whose friendship the Jews courted, and whose idols they served: the Septuagint and Arabic versions wrongly read the Chaldeans:
whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses; by “flesh” is meant the “membrum virile”, which in asses is very large, and therefore dedicated to Priapus by the Heathens; and vast is the profusion of seed in coitus by horses, to which the flesh and issue of the Egyptian paramours are compared; who were very libidinous, and therefore desirable to insatiable women; all which serves to express the eagerness of the people of the Jews after idolatry.  Just now

Jamye  Two godawful sins right here. Paedophilia and slavery are fine though.

sinfull_food

September 24 at 7:15pm

John    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z764IzCtjtE

Mmm, Sacrilicious — Homer Simpson

September 24 at 8:04pm

Blake The only religious movement that owns slaves is islam   September 24 at 9:06pm

Jenny  This is the best one yet  September 24 at 9:46pm

JM How shellfish of him. Yesterday at 12:10am

Neil  Just as well, I’m allergic to shellfish. I get my slave to cook me lamb cutlets instead.

Yesterday at 12:33am

Tom What a cunt  Yesterday at 1:23am

Ned  Bwahahahaha   Yesterday at 1:27am

Ben Somewhat ironic, I admit. Yesterday at 4:06am

Pamela I’m crying   Yesterday at 8:45am

Angie  Or pedophilia.  Yesterday at 9:00am

Robert  I love shellfish and hate gods. God was humanity’s worst ever fiction.

Yesterday at 11:50am

Bero  the easy solution for the lazy minded    22 hrs

Joseph

where_is_your-god_now

13 hrs

Neil  Ever tried to whip a slave while eating a lobster? It’s not easy. God works in mysterious ways. 13 hrs

 

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